End of December

I am going to go riding today! Whoopee. I'm nuts. It's about 2 degrees outside but I really want to get back in the saddle. I was released from IV prison yesterday when the PIC line was finally removed from my arm. That was a really creepy procedure that did not hurt at all, in fact, I didn't feel a thing when this 18 " long white worm of a little tube was snaked out of my arm vein. Yuck!

But, now I can ride. My thumb is stiff , still somewhat sore and doesn't bend at first joint. Permanently fused from a stupid cat bite. There is so much arthritic damage at the joint from the cat bite trauma and infection that doctor says it will fuse, which is better than two ends of bone rubbing with no cartilage! You know, I actually understand this because I have a horse, my big Louis, going through the very same thing. I turned him out after 3 months stall rest and said Fuse, Baby, Fuse. So we shall see about the two of us, hopefully we heal together.

So, it is coming to the end of December, the end of this "00" decade. What a ride. You get to watch all these news shows that recap the decade and a lot of sh-- happened. I am not going over all that but I must say I am looking forward to the "20-teens". I am hoping for a kinder, gentler decade. Wouldn't it be nice to finish up in Iraq and Afghanistan with negotiated peace that they could continue and that they could thrive. I hope we all continue to be healthier- it is certainly something everyone is so much more conscious of now , in small everyday choices. I am an eternal optimist I know, but that is where such reflections always take me. SO , Happy New Year to my friends and family. I hope we all live long and prosper this year coming. Now, 'scuse me while I go ride and kiss the sky!

Merry Christmas to all

Merry Christmas to my family and friends. It is Christmas Eve and the table is set, the presents are wrapped. I am about to go and feed and put the horses to bed. I know rain is forecast but I think they will be OK. I can bring them in, in the morning, if it is really bad. The kids are coming home, bearing more things to wrap and I am feeling full of love.

My husband tells me I am beautiful, I tell my daughter she is beautiful and it all stems from the love abounding.

Well, That didn't get posted, so- Merry Christmas - Christmas morning!

We had a wonderful morning with family, spent unwrapping lovely gifts to/from each other. The kids have gone to their Dad's and we are now relaxing before next social adventure. I am about to go and feed again, funny how that is neverending! Happy holidays to all.

Counting Down to Christmas

We can't put the presents under the tree until late Christmas Eve because the Lab puppy would destroy them, but that is kinda fun this year. Leo, the puppy is getting big and he is really fun, still a little floppy and he has discovered he can climb on the snow, so our snowdrifts by the front door are topped by puppy poop! The Yorkie disappeared a few times in the big drifts after the BIG snow we had over the weekend. He wanted to follow me to the front barn which was a trek in 2 1/2 foot drifts, but was stopped about 100 yds in because he was one big snowball. Sarah rescued him.

The kids are all home and it is wonderful. Sarah's boyfriend is here from California and we welcomed him with 2 feet of snow. Didn't want him to miss any part of a white Eastern Christmas! And he helped shovel out!

We buried our friend yesterday and honored his life with friends and family. His colleagues came from as far away as Moscow, California, Ohio, Texas and we all gave homage to this man who was "the best of the best". Gerry was an example to us all about how to live an honorable, generous life. We will miss him terribly.

I wish everyone a safe, warm, lovely Christmas and here's to a hopefully happier New Year. Love you.

Keepin' on

Death is a part of life, but it is really, really hard to deal with. Our friend passed night before last , even tho' it was expected , even tho' the quality of his life was gone, it is really hard to just keep going on. When somebody you love dies, part of your life dies and it is never the same. I have been to too many funerals in the past couple of weeks and I just wonder how do you just keep going on.

My heart breaks for my friends whose son died. He was only 23!

My heart breaks for my other friend's sons, they are young men, losing their father just as they are becoming men themselves.

My heart breaks for my friends who have lost their husbands, their best friends, their rocks.

How do you rearrange your consciousness to allow for an empty space and grief?

I have no answers and feel woefully inadequate to help. I offer to be there and to give hugs, but realize that the truth is you grieve alone. I can offer distraction but know the path my friends are on is a lonely walk.

But I will continue to be there and we keep going on.

Reflections

This has been a sad December for some people in my life and because we are all connected it has been an unusually reflective end to the first decade of the 21st century. Several unexpected deaths and illnesses have rocked our small community and we look at each other with care and concern, wishing we could offer more comfort, not really knowing what to say, just hoping being there is enough. My own incident with the cat bite and ensuing bone infection have stopped me cold in my usual, carefree daily life. Little things like grooming my horses, not to even mention riding are beyond my ability for the first time in a very long time. When you are healthy you rarely think about how lucky you are on a daily basis, but when you are hurt, impaired, or sick for any length of time, it is amazing how grateful you become to be able to do the smallest things. Yesterday was a month after the cat bit me and it was the first time I was able to give myself the IV injection that I am still having to take. It was liberating! to be able to do it myself! The home health nurse extended the IV line in my arm and my other (hurt) thumb is now able to push and twist the IV sryinges, so I can do it with my right hand and inject the medicine in my left arm. I am now ready to go and gallop horses!

Not really , as much as I want to ride, I am afraid of the IV line ripping out of my vein :( , so I will wait until they say I can. This is unusual for me as I think I can do anything. Taking my health and strength for granted I have worked this body as hard as I wanted forever. This morning as my husband left, I said ,"I just want to feel normal again." This brings me back to my reflections on gratitude for my health and gratitude for the life of my friends. I guess this incidents and the recent deaths of friends are making me feel fragile and that is unusual also.

I am so sorry for the grief in my friends lives. One has lost a husband, one has lost a child , another is in the middle of a long goodbye. It has been heartbreaking and sorrowful. It has been hard to find a sunny day in many respects and I cry for them. One can talk about the greater purposes and that we don't understand the Big plan, but I find more comfort in a hug and telling my friends that I care and am hurting with them and wish it wasn't the way it is. We are all connected and when one of us hurts , so do all of us share the sorrow.

Christmas is usually a time of joy and happiness, but this year , for me , it is a time for comfort. I offer comfort and love and friendship to my friends that are hurting and I am grateful for the comforts I have . I am thankful for the people in my life who enrich me beyond measure, my husband, my kids and all my friends. Thank you and Merry Christmas.

Rainy December morn

I miss being able to write about my foxhunting escapades, I miss having those escapades!!.

It is a very rainy Dec morn, following our first snow. I guess we should be thankful it is only another couple inches of rain, the Midwest is getting hammered. Please keep going northward. I am not ready for so much snow. The cold is coming tho'. I did put the waterproof blankets on the mares finally as sleet then cold wind is the toughest weather on them. I had to move everyone up close to the house, in the paddocks in front and beside driveway as my Gator broke. This is a tragedy , as anyone with a farm and a Gator can know. Moving haybales and feed buckets with a defective hand, useless arm and no Gator is my idea of torture. And all I did was try to move a cat! Now, my big, trusty Chevy 250 is helping out. Thank you for big old pickups. At least I don't have to unhook from horse trailer every time right now. And I have a neighbour who thinks he can help fix the Gator. Small blessings.

I can't wait for Christmas, all the kids are coming home and Sarah will be here for a week with her friend Kevin. The tree is up, the lights are going up and I am wrapping. It is all good.

First snowfall

First snow yesterday blanketed us with about 2 inches. I just started feeding again and I have to tackle the Gator slipping and sliding in snow. I figured I better feed really early while it was still a little frozen or I would never get up the hills. It was fine and actually beautiful. Even tho' they cancelled hunting it would have been a lovely morning to hunt, not too cold and fresh snow- the hounds love it.

The mares and foals seemed fine, nobody the worse for wear after snow.

We got our Christmas tree yesterday and it was fun to decorate. First time in many years that I did it mostly myself. Kids are all in school or in own homes (Sam). Michael was feeling low- a cold- so I put up the ones I loved best. It is a country/wildlife/foxhunting tree! There are lots of bright birds and foxes and little squirrels and foxhunt attired people. Interspersed among my animal themes are Mike's beautiful White House and CIA ornaments. Odd but it works for us!!

Recuperation

I was pretty bummed yesterday when the orthopedic surgeon told me the cat -bite infection was actually in the bone of my thumb and that this kind of bone infection is very hard to get rid of. He basically told me it was permanent damage and could re-occur, even if the long term antibiotics do "kill" most of it. Damn. I was depressed.

But, today is a new day and I feel better. The thumb is very weak and hurts but it is there and it does function, albeit stiffly. He said I do have to do at least 6 weeks of the IV antibiotics and some physical therapy to try to get the motion back. I figure as soon as I can ride ( as soon as IV line in my arm vein- to my heart-comes out), the motion from riding and holding reins will start to bring strength back- at least I hope so. Don't know about cracking my hunt whip, that might take longer! I do miss riding the most. Surprised at how much I depend on the physicality of it to maintain my own happiness. I try to walk the puppy and visit the horses, but I miss grooming them and rubbing on them. However I did feed this morning by myself and that felt great. I get help with feeding hay in the afternoons but being able to do my chores by myself felt terrific, like my life was getting back to normal. I love my quiet time, feeding in the mornings, just talking to my animals. I keep wondering why this happened , what am I supposed to be learning from this period of inactivity? Don't really have any answers, other than to re-evaluate what I am doing with my life. This is definitely something I have been doing since all the kids are pretty much gone now. The horses have not been very lucrative,in fact, I do have to chart a new course for the next 50 years of my life.

Today, however, I am going to start getting Xmas decorations out and finish shopping and start to spread some Christmas joy. This afternoon we are going to memorial service for our friend who passed away from the horse fall. We will celebrate his life and memory and give our comfort to his wife. I hope our hugs and love do help her somehow.

Sunny December 1st

It is a beautiful, cold sunny morning. Still muddy, but the sun is welcoming. I would love to go riding this morning. Lily, my little TB mare was running around, doing laps in the field this morning. She just felt good, running for the love of it. This I understand , just running and jumping and galloping 'cause you feel good to be alive is the best! This is the best time of year to go foxhunting. Oh well,next year. I can go out and road whip with a friend starting this weekend I hope.

Leo, the puppy, is happy and funny. Getting the hang of potty training, he sometimes barely makes it to the door and doesn't make it off the front step. Now, you have to watch your step. Puppy land mines! I am not letting him go with the Gator to feed yet.

Yesterday, there was a red fox sitting on the hill by the mares run-in shed. He/she seemed very nonplussed by us feeding and only sauntered off when the two little dogs ( the Yorkie and grey Schnoodle) gave chase. Then he returned . I guess to see if we were still there. Bold. I hope it is not a rabid fox. You have to be careful when a wild animal starts to seem unafraid and comes toward you. We had to shoot a rabid groundog a couple of months ago because it was literally running at us and around our feet. Butch, the fellow who helps on the farm and I must have looked hysterical that day. We had not fired the shotgun in months , I forgot how to load it . It kept locking because we were not sure how to eject the shells and the whole time this rabid groundhog was running literally around our feet. I actually climbed the three rail fence to avoid it, the whole time yelling at Butch to put it out of its misery. His beagle was doing circles with it and I was sure the stupid groundhog was going to turn around and bite the beagle. Eventually we accounted for it and then drove far into the woods to drop the body. So, I hope this fox is healthy. Butch thought it might be a female looking to den in the run-in shed. I hope not- too close to my mares for me. Never a dull moment on the farm.

Sunday night

As this long Thanksgiving holiday weekend is coming to an end , I am watching the last Sunday night football game (Ravens v. Steelers). I love the sound of football, it is somehow synonymous with lovely, lazy Sundays. A week ago I was just coming out of recovery from the thumb surgery and I could hear the game on somewhere. It was reassuring and I, then, turned Monday night football on the next night in my hospital room for the same reassuring sound of home. I like the sound of the announcer's voices. They become so recognizable , they sound like family, kinda talking in the other room. You don't always listen but you like that they are there. My husband has been taking care of me this whole long week of IV's and pain meds etc. He looked at me and said that it had felt like a vacation. I replied, " No, a staycation!" Strange, it has been very nice to spend all this time with him and I will miss him when he goes back to work tomorrow. Even when I am cranky , he is my best friend.

I am watching Michael Oher play football. He is the "star" of the movie "The Blind Side" ,which I went to see Friday night. It was excellent, best movie I've seen in awhile. What a difficult, courageous life full of pain and surprising twists and turns he has had and he is only like -24! I love feel good movies and I guess most people do. The theatre was packed. Long time since I so a movie so full.

Life is good. Our puppy is fun and floppy and soft and smells like a new puppy. My horses are all healthy (knock on wood) at the moment. Louis , the big Warmblood , with the "broken" coffin bone is out in the pasture and seems to be walking OK. I still give him 1 bute a day and he'll probably have the whole year off. I hope he comes around sound- he might. The weanling with the "fat" hind leg is out too, and seems to be moving well. The mares are fat and happy. The old man (Lesat, who is 30) seems to have recovered from a mild colic. So, for this moment I am blessed with healthy animals and I ,too, am getting better. I don't feel 100% but I sure feel better than a week ago , so, healthy is relative and tonight I am happy.

Forced quiet time

I thought I would wrap up the tale of my thumb today with the last thoughts on hospital stays. Some nurses were very nice but, if you do not have an advocate for you on a long stay( a week), they really control your comfort for good or bad. Now morphine is a wonderful drug but I do not tolerate it very well. Early on in this adventure a kind nurse said if she diluted it and gave it to me slowly, then it shouldn't be a problem. She was right . No more upchucking, thank god. So, I was very careful to tell every shift of nurses to please dilute the morphine. Most did just that and I as fine. However, one rushed soul didn't really listen and just grabbed my IV and proceeded to shoot me up with "straight" morphine. I know I am a light weight in the drug department but it feels like a great rush up your neck and then a kind of exploding lightness and warmth in the head. I hate the feeling . It makes my head slam back on the pillow and I'm in la-la-land immediately. Then I start to throw up for hours. Really unpleasant. This nurse realized what she had done, apologized and was nice to me the rest of the time, but I paid for that little lapse in her listening to a repeated request by throwing up for 6 hours!

There were other similar incidents, small but significant to me in terms of comfort levels. The nice young surgeon did have to come back and really operate on my thumb because the joint was infected. They put me under because I would not let him touch me otherwise! It went smoothly and he says successfully. He butterflied my thumb and lavaged the joint and then put it back together. I now have what looks like Frankenstein's thumb attached. He says it will all be fine in about 6 weeks. I can only trust- it looks awful and it stills hurts a lot.

The real bummer is I can't hunt, I can't even ride. My hunt was invited to an Away fixture today with a hunt from Delaware. It was a lovely day and I couldn't go. Oh well.

I did go grocery shopping with a girlfriend who really appreciated my company this morning. She is having a tough time. We went to the fancy "gucci" whole foods store and spent too much money on exotic cheeses and pumpkin mousse pies but it was fun. I listened to my son's basketball game on the internet, he won!! The puppy is a delight and life has taken a jog. I will just have to enjoy the new scenery for a while.

Happy I am Home

We have a new puppy, Leonidas, or Leo for short. He is a 9 wk old yellow Lab and he is gorgeous. I figured this is a really good time to do the puppy dance , while I am relatively limited in activities by my injured thumb (read cat-bit thumb). Instead of feeding, grooming and riding all my horses I can puppy-sit/train Leo! Actually he really is adorable- what is it about puppies that makes everyone just ooh and say," Awww, coochie-coochie, you are s000 cute, puppy,puppy"!!

While I miss the horse chores, he is a wonderful distraction and boredom-reliever. I saw the black & white cat that bit me in the barn this morning. I think he will /has become the ghost cat- so timid ,it was a split-second glimpse before he disappeared. It's OK as long as he kills mice- tho' aptly named Spike before, I am now calling him Phantom.

I did say I would say something about my hospital stay. though it now seems gone and done and not worth recounting. However it was such a departure from my regular life I want to share some observations. Usually I am home alone on a farm, working with animals- horses. Communication is primarily non-verbal and I get a lot of exercise. My hospital stay required I talk to a lot of people and stay still for long periods of time, both really hard for me. But I had lots of time to watch how medical staff treat patients.

The infectious disease doctor was the epitome of "doctor TV -type", warm, concerned, older guy. Great , I could relate. But from here I went to the emergency room to start IV drip antibiotics and had a chance to watch ER room from patients point of view. Now, I am a fan of Grey's Anatomy and the old ER, so you get a sense of it from the hassled TV doctor's side from these shows. What seems to be the reality is medicine is drowning in paperwork . It was endless waiting, going from one clerk type to the next and being told to keep waiting. It is a game . My doctor correctly assessed that I would get a hospital bed faster if I went thru the ER. This meant I was in ER halls with every uninsured person who had the flu, swine or otherwise, colds, cuts, bee stings, knife wounds etc etc. I saw one woman with a kid, who obviously just had a cold, park herself in a comfortable lounger chair,tell the kid to sit and then went to sleep. So, this kid is coughing, sneezing and running around , messing with everything. No wonder everyone gets sick in the ER. It has become an outpatient " free- health" clinic. I eventually was treated and sent to a room but the average wait in ER is ridiculous and if you don't have someone bugging the staff for you- forget it , you are going to be there forever. I cannot imagine the horribleness that will come from Obama's health care reform if even more people start going to ER's for simple care, or if more and more paperwork is needed, as seems the case anything with the government aegis on it.

So I got to a room, tagged, numbered, labeled, coded whatever. They put me to bed (surprisingly comfortable), started pain meds and told me I would live !! Some of these nurses were really nice. They take the time to tell you what is going on, which pain med might work better, if the surgeon is good- just talk to you like a person they were being nice to. Some, however, really are Nurse Ratchett. They should not be nurses. They obviously don't want to be there and sure as shooting, they don't want to be nice to you. They don't want any questions and if you are a "problem", well, they just don't answer your pages on the little call button . Too bad, they are in control and you are not!. Thankfully most of mine were pretty nice.

The next day, I needed an orthopedic surgeon. The one we find turns out to be great but he is my son's age!. Or looks it. I can tell he is really keen on his profession. He is eyeing my swollen, discolored thumb like a shark eyes a hurt fish. I am dead meat and he gets to cut me open and look at tendons, bones, muscles and he seems as happy as a pig in sh--. He can't wait. Literally.

After saying he is checking on someone in an operating room, he runs back in 10 minutes later with his portable dissecting kit ( or whatever). Now this, unfortunately , is right at shift change time. One set of nurses is leaving and one is coming. The longer you stay in hospital the quicker you realize , don't try to get anything or ask for anything at this time- it ain't gonna happen. So,the nurses are not paying attention and this Young! man proceeds to slice open my thumb to the bone. He numbed it with King Kong's needle but after 20minutes of pulling, poking, prodding, cleaning and debriding he flushes it and and smiles triumphantly. At which point I

reminded him I had been given NO PAIN MEDS!!!. He looked a little worried and then real worried as I proceeded to scream -MORPHINE NOW!!!! My poor husband held my hand while I tried to keep breathing thru excruciating pain until one nice nurse ran to get morphine. She was just shaking her head at this ridiculous oversight on his part. He actually said to me at one point, " You've had kids, just do the breathing" - I hurt too bad to smack him, which I would have if I could have.

The sun is now shining. I get to go feed with my husband . I will finish this tomorrow. It is so nice to be home.

Giving Thanks

I have been out of Blogging- touch for about 10 days because a cat bit me!. Sounds innocuous but I am here to tell you that everyone should treat a real cat bite -fangs to the bone- with the utmost respect and caution. I was in hospital, almost to the point of septic shock, within about 24 hrs. Immediately on an IV antibiotic drip, with thumb joint surgery imminent. Now, 11 days later, Thanksgiving Day, I am home and so grateful for so many things. Which will be the focus of this blog. I will tell everyone about my hospital adventure which was extraordinary in a later blog. It is a tale.

But, today, I want to give thanks. I want to thank modern medicine and the American medical system, which may be flawed but is so much better than just about anywhere else. 100 years ago I probably would have died from this stupid cat bite. Really! So kudos to my surgeon, the infectious disease specialists and all the overworked nurses who made my life run the gamut from absurdly surreal to real kindness in the hospital. Next, I want to thank my husband for being there for me through it all with love, patience and grace. I know I am not an easy patient- way too controlling, as he oft reminds me!!- but he held my hand while they sliced my thumb open (without the benefit of pain killers). He tried to make me warm when I was shaking with cold in septicemia, and he is still lovingly, patiently giving me IV drip antibiotics 3x a day, which for this controlling, bitchy woman is an exercise in surrender. Aaagh!

I want to thanks my kids, who came or called everyday, to tell me they loved me. Thank you, I love you too. Thank you to my former husband, with whom, I had the best three kids in the world, and who called to wish me well. I am blessed to have family and friends all around me. My friends are the best. Thank you, thank you for all the visits, the phone calls, the laughter and the encouragement. My horse friends were sure this was a joke. They all might expect to hear I was thrown, or kicked or trampled by a horse, but to be sidelined by a cat bite was just too funny- so we laughed. My friends keep coming by to help with IV's (thank you Pam) or with horses and feeding (thank you Laura) or just giving support. You guys make my world an infinitely better place. Today my heart is open and surrendering to the goodness in the universe.

Which brings me to the idea of "passing it forward". We all care for each other. Today I am supported, tomorrow I give love and encouragement. This is what I have learned by being humbled by a cat. During the past week, my friends have also suffered some unbearable sadnesses. Our friend who was thrown from his horse passed away last Saturday. He will be missed terribly and all we can do is rally around his wife and give her our help and love and comfort. Another friend is counting on the same love and comfort, from her friends, as she is coming to a tough time in a cancer fight.

So, Give Thanks to all the important people in your life. Love and cherish and laugh and cry together - we are all so connected. And I am grateful for the wonderful animals in my life, my

horses and dogs and, yes, even the cats, are beautiful and full of unconditional love. Thank you.

Friends

The sun is coming up and I believe today will actually be sunny! Changes one's whole mood , that little bit of sunshine. Fox-hunting was cancelled for wet ground, but I was going to miss anyway 'cause I am going to Lexington to watch my son's basketball game. Now I don't have to feel torn about leaving my responsibilities as whip.

We had some friends over for dinner last night. Salmon en croute and chocolate mousse for dessert, tho' all the guys wanted the homemade apple pie instead of chocolate. Go figure. I always make an apple pie because then the house smells really good. (This was especially a good idea this time, because we think something has crawled in near the front foundation and died- didn't smell so nice and we can't find it!) Anyway, good friends and good food make up my favorite evening. I like to cook a nice meal and share it, drink enough wine that I am a little buzzed and listen to my friends really talk about their lives. When we stop and really listen to each others lives they are so interesting. One friend is writing a screenplay, another is in the midst of a major house renovation, another just hosted a major dressage "evening" with an expert in the field, one just kayaked for a week in Panama. I love my friends. I missed the couple of friends who couldn't come because of a ongoing fight with cancer in the family.

I guess I am writing about cherishing my friends because that is what really works in my life. I cherish my kids ( but they are starting to leave the nest), I love my husband - he is my best friend and the constant in my life, but my friends are all the interesting, wonderful parts of this world brought close and personal. I get to see the world through their eyes during conversations and that gives me "larger" vision. I see a bigger world. This is not always beautiful, but even in sorrow and pain I feel a connection that brings me close to another soul and that is what life is about. I have a feeling the angels are approaching my friend that had the accident on horseback last week. My heart goes out to his wife, a dear friend, and I call and leave messages on her phone- just to reach out. I can send her my support and friendship through our connection because she has too much to bear right now. Love and prayers, Gwen.

Rain,rain go away

It is pouring outside. And we are supposed to get inches more. What happens when you cross a nor'easter with a hurricane? A real mess that stays too long. I am glad it is not snow, that would be worse. The horses barely come out of their run-in sheds. I brought the weanlings in last night, one of them seems to get rain rot very easily , so they are not very happy but dry!! The St.Averil filly is downright nasty. I sigh and realize I have to deal with the little devil until a year from now. Sometimes this is just hard work. This is when you know you love horses, when it is raining and cold and you still have to get in the Gator and go feed and fix fence posts and stick your hand under blankets to see if they are still waterproof. Thankfully yes!

Watching Keeneland Sales

I can watch the Keeneland sales on the TV and follow on the laptop to see if the bids are real or RNA's. Modern technology is amazing. The sales seem down, this is first day of Keeneland November with the best mares in the country for sale and the prices seem moderate. There are a lot of outs - so I think the market is realistically saying there are too many horses being bred, and not enough buyers. Azeri, a Horse of the Year , brought 2.250Million, only 7 figure bid of the day.

I know I am not breeding some of the mares next year.

My friend who was injured on Sunday is stable , which is good. Today, the third day, should see the swelling in brain go down some and then we still wait to see what happens. Prayers and healing thoughts go out to him and his wife from all of us. I include the Ft. Hood families in my prayers as well.

Strange, the news today is all about the execution of the DC sniper. Life and death and the balance of the universe is beyond my understanding. All I know is to love the people in my life and try to do right by everyone all the time. Simple. Dealing with horses is so much easier than people. Horses react from fear almost always, but if you know this, you can predict their behavior most of the time and act accordingly. In that sense they are very straight up. " Scare me and I'm going to run, love me and I will try to trust you and do what you want." My two young mares , off the track, are starting to trust. They are enjoying their walks in the woods and are both actually jumping really well. Small steps but it is very rewarding .

A phone call away from your knees

"A phone call away from your knees"- these lyrics from a popular song have always caught my attention with a whisper of anxiety. It is so true that at any moment our well-being or happiness could be changed completely by a single simple act. A friend of mine was thrown from his horse, on a quiet trail ride near his house. Attacked by a strange dog, the horses bolted and my friend was thrown to the road where he suffered a very serious head injury. Now in an Intensive Care Unit at the hospital where he was taken, he is on a very long, solitary journey. He is in a deep coma, and we can only hold vigil with his wife and wait. The phone call came yesterday morning and we all fell figuratively to our knees and said a simple prayer for our friends. And we continue to say a prayer for his recovery. My husband and I hugged each other and said those words, "Please take care when you ride, always wear your helmet ( my friend had his helmet on), take your cell phone...". Hug the ones you love, call your kids and your mom. Love one another.

Zenyatta rules!!

Zenyatta rocked. She beat the boys and who knows she might beat Rachel!!. Hope we find out one day- that is what horse racing is about. Zenyatta stayed very cool and waited , waited and when asked she turned on a great finish. Girl power.

My little retired race filly, Polly, went to her first horse show today and got three ribbons. She was sooo good. Did the hack, and jumped all the fences on outside course really well. I am so proud of her. As proud as the Mosses must be of Zenyatta.

Sometimes these horses just give their all and you can't help but be proud of them, and awed by them.

Breeder' Cup

The fillies and mares showed their stuff yesterday. Awesome! I still wish it was on one day though, but enjoyed watching the best of the best. My mares are at their feed tubs , dreaming of future little track stars- they are all pregnant this year. It was all frosty this morning in Maryland, but is now warming up to a beautiful day. Can't wait to watch the big girl run- Go Zenyatta!

November means Basketball!

I was at my son Will's Parents Weekend at college this past weekend. It was wonderful to see him and to watch him play basketball again. I think watching any athlete, any sport , whether it is basketball players or racehorses is inspiring. I know from my son what an immense commitment of time and energy this sport has required. He has been happy to dedicate his teenage years to learning this sport and his coaches have all been impressed with the focus and determination that he has shown. It is this "heart" that you can't make somebody or some racehorse have- they either are born with the desire to be first or not. One can learn essential skills and train the body to be a perfectly functioning machine , but the quintessential spark that lifts the normal "good" athlete to be an extraordinary performer is "heart".

When we watched "Mine That Bird" win the Derby after that phenomenal run up the rail, we all remarked about the little horse's heart and determination. We all loved the Seabiscuit story and remember the movie Rudy, about the Notre Dame football player who only played once but his heart inspired his whole team. Brett Favre has earned our respect and love because he just won't quit. Zenyatta and Rachel Alexandra have taken our breath away this year with extraordinary talent and heart. You go, Girls!

And to my son, you go dude. You are an inspiration and I am very proud to know you.

Fall beauty

Yay, the sun has come out. After days of rain, the fall colors are beautiful and I rode all the crazy fillies this morning, just to get out and enjoy it. The farm is so lovely this time of year. Actually, even in the rain it is lovely. I rode yesterday in the rain and it felt like a "misty, moisty morning", calm and quiet in the damp. The leaves were beautiful in the rain. Today they are coming down everywhere. The streams were very swollen, overflowing the banks. I have a blue heron that frequents one of the streams, it is always standing beside the pipe by the back stream. I wonder where blue herons go in the winter. It is there everyday now and I realize I have never seen a heron in the snow! It flies up, startled, with a huge wingspan, every time I ride past. The fillies are starting to look for the darn bird and plan their spook!

Louis, the foxhunter with the broken coffin bone has been let out of jail! We xrayed again and after 3 months in the stall he is pretty much the same. I think it is arthritis. I decided to let him out and let him be a pasture guy to see if it might eventually fuse. He seems to deal with the discomfort without bute and he is so much happier. We are driving to VA this weekend to see Will at Washington and Lee. I am looking forward to the Skyline Drive- the prettiest road in America.

Wedding/Opening Hunt

Julia's wedding was fabulous. We had a great time. Julia and Ryan make a dynamite couple and those navy boys know how to party. We left for the night when the shirts were coming off and I heard they all jumped in the pool!! Tampa was Warm- an unexpected treat. Got back on Sunday just in time for Opening Hunt breakfast. This was also a wonderful gathering. It is a lovely tradition and every year I appreciate my friends who ride and hunt. Two mishaps, please send good vibes to Andrea Barnes and John Myers, both who got tossed. And also to Snowie , whose heart is thumping too much and had to spend the night in hospital. Too much excitement. The puppy auction went very well- seems we raised about $3000 or $4000 for kennel/trail funds which are always needed. We thanked out trail clearing groups and "awarded Work gloves!!" The food was Southern themed and disappeared fast. It was cleaned up and we were home in time for football. A terrific day. I was glad we went to the wedding and glad we made it back to host Breakfast!

Off to Tampa

We are leaving tomorrow for a SHORT trip to Florida to see Julia and Ryan tie the Knot!! We will miss Opening Hunt but will be back for the breakfast to follow. I love the spectacle of Opening Hunt and Jim, our huntsman , was not really pleased that I was going away , but Julia is important and I want to be there for her special day.

Thursday morning

As my day starts and I'm on my second cup of coffee, reading Facebook before I go out to chores, I keep hearing what sounds like fireworks. Finally I look up, see the dawn pinking up and think OH SH_ _ ! Blackpowder season! I guess I will not be trail riding today, too many deer hunting, muzzle loading, first day of season guys out this morning. It is not even light yet and they are already shooting. I hope my six broodmares and two geldings in the back fields keep their heads down. Years ago I had a horse shot first day of deer season and ever since I worry.

Yesterday was a lovely Fall day and we had a good hunt, albeit a little close to suburbia. I imagine all hunts are feeling the pinch of housing developments and yesterday was textbook tiptoeing through somebody's backyard. The hounds were in full cry thru the woods, thru cut cornfields and then thru manicured backyards. Can't tell you how many picnic tables, little equipment sheds, plastic wading pools , BBQ grills and sandboxes I have "sneaked "around at a gallop trying to keep hounds from running down driveways to the main road. As these suburban houses get closer, I now keep an eye out for clotheslines as much as wire fence in the woods. There was a family eating breakfast at their table yesterday as I raced on the edge of their lawn . Don't know if they saw me- I hope not- they are not usually happy about hoofprints! Hounds finally checked below a brand new huge brick Mcmansion, in some brambles and I took the opportunity to try and stop them. After much persuasion and horn blowing they "agreed" to stop and call it a day. Fun but too close to houses for me.

Came home and let the big guy out . This is Louis, the old guy with a broken coffin bone who has been in the stall for 3 months. Aced him and let out for 1 hour. I was crushed when he came back in limping. I had so hoped it would heal , after months of stall rest. The vet at racetrack was very discouraging, said if break was into joint the prognosis was not good. I am so bummed- love this horse. we are going to Xray this week and see what we can do next. Fingers crossed.

Took pictures of "Q" puppies for puppy auction this weekend. They are so cute, the littlest one is called "Q-Tip" by huntsman.

A sunny Monday

The sun feels so good today. After 4 days of rain, the sunshine is a treat for everyone, horses, dogs and cat are all out sunning! Today is the first day I have let, Louis, my old foxhunter that broke his coffin bone this summer, out into a small paddock. He is a very big boy so the vet said give him 3cc's of Ace (a tranquilizer) and let him out for a short time. He is so dopey that he is quietly eating which was the goal. I'm not sure he knows if he is loose or not. One of the weanlings is keeping him company in the barn ( she is in for stitches healing) and the past few days he has been going nuts, kicking boards and carrying -on like an idiot. Now, when he kicks a board, they come flying off. He is 17.2 hands and probably 1400 lobs- a big guy who is very tired of being in the barn. It has been 11 weeks and we are trying for 12 weeks of confinement, then small turn out for another month. Hopefully, the broken bone in his foot will heal completely- fingers crossed. I love the old guy even if he can be big pig sometimes. Right now the other weanling is talking to him across the fence from the small paddock. It is looks like LeBron James and Tinkerbelle talking!

Rainy Saturdays

Today is a rainy, lazy Saturday, watching college football, steeplechasing and paying bills. The horses are in their "pajamas" , in their run-in sheds reluctant to come out at all. There is mud everywhere and we have already cancelled hunting tomorrow. A Sunday to sleep in - awesome. Speaking of awesome, Mike and I went to the musical "Jersey Boys" last night in DC. It was fabulous. For anybody who loves music, it's the story of Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons, and it is a must see. I don't even like musicals but it was so great I can't get the smile off my face. I even bought the soundtrack! So, my life is not just about horses- I try to get some culture in there sometimes and I loved this show.

Now we might go to the movies and watch some gratuitous violence and unnecessary mayhem just to keep the culture balanced!

Rainy days

It is a cold, rainy, yucky day. Too cold for October, reluctantly I am pulling out horse blankets, checking buckles and surcingles, counting how many I need. I pull the two geldings in from the front field-one is almost 30, my favorite old foxhunter and Red, who is too skinny now. I put them in the barn and watch them roll in the shavings and heave sighs of warm relief. My girlfriend Carol sent me a photo of her weanling , who is burrowed in a nest of clean straw , not about to get up! It is so cute. I guess we all know what that feels like to burrow under the comforter and just keep sleeping.

its getting colder!

I picked up my new Mini today!! It is bright red. This time, hopefully, nobody will rear-end me. You can't miss this beautiful little red Mini- I love it.

Today was coollll ! In fact on the way home a little sleet hit the windshield. Oh no- I am not ready for real cold. Maryland has the most wonderful fall weather but sleet in October- unusual. The hunt today was fast. We were only out for about 1 1/2 hrs from 8 -9:30. One fox was viewed crossing a hay field and the hounds quickly found its friend or mate and tore off in the opposite direction under full cry. We whips looked at each other, shrugged and said " maybe it is not "heel" ( heel -is running backwards on a scent line) and off we went. This fox was very brave as he ran for a solid hour, was viewed several times. Sometimes the hounds were pretty close, other times , not even warm. They ran thru woods, across hayfields, across the jump field on the horse trial course, thru the broodmares in the neighbour's pasture and kept on keepin' on. The fox went to ground in a den below the tenant's house on same neighbour's farm and the huntsman blew "gone to ground" and enthusiastically praise the hounds. They did good. And we thanked the fox silently, as it was a wonderful run, and we were glad he went home safely. We like to take care of our foxes, actually putting out dog kibble in rough winter weather and putting rabies vaccines in chicken parts to keep them healthy. The second field had a lovely view of this fox as he crossed the hay field a second time on the way home.

Sunday mornings

I love that my husband comes and hunts with me. When we got together years ago I said, "You know you are going to start foxhunting,right?". We had met in martial arts class, so I figured he was athletic enough ,even tho' he knew nothing about horses and was also very allergic to them, I firmly believed that everyone loves hunting once they try it!

Well he was game and years later he loves his Quarter Horse, Bob. And Bob has a good relationship with Mike, my husband- he waits for Mike when he falls off as long as Mike lets him eat a fair amount of the time hunting. That is sort of a joke- it is the cute part of the relationship , but actually they have a good time and seem to look out for each other. I love seeing Mike and Bob (the horse) when I go tearing by, chasing errant hounds etc. They are just cool, hanging out, talking to other field members and enjoying the Fall, the foxhunting, the hounds, the whole thing.

Today was lovely until there was more excitement than I wanted. Hounds found in the corn , but instead of heading south where we could go , the fox went north! To the road. Damn, this means I and Greg ,the other whip today, ride like bats out of hell down somebody's driveway to the paved road, hoping to head the hounds off. Well I hit the road at a gallop, thanking my blacksmith for the borium with every stride (keeps you from skidding on the road) and raced west, yelling at hounds to -hopefully- quit their quarry, the fox- and not cross the road. At the same time I am praying this isn't a coyote who run in straight lines for miles!

I pulled my gun, hating to do it on the road 'cause I'm sure someone is going to call the cops on me and fire the rat shot into the side of the road. Hounds will sometimes listen to the gun and the anticipated peppering of shot and stop even when on a hard run. I fired 5 or 6 times and luckily no one called the cops and the hounds checked long enough for the huntsman to pick them up. We travelled back south to the corn and tried again. Now this was all on my little mare, Lily who, during most of the off-season is the spookiest mare. But, give her a job and she is terrific. Knows exactly what we were trying to do, dashed down the driveway onto the road, ignoring a million things she usually has a heart attack about. Go figure horses- I love her when she is super like that and she can jump the moon. It was a fun day after all.

October beauty

Now that the sales are done I can relax and enjoy what I do. October is such a beautiful month for riding. The colors are magnificent and it seems to smell like Fall. Woodsy, smokey and clean, with no humidity. It is invigorating. So, after not riding for days I took the two mares and Red, my TB gelding , for trail rides. The gelding just cruises along with the most awesome ground covering gallop. Nothing spooks him and he is a fabulous jumper-he just makes it easy and is always a pleasure. The mares are both Mares! At least neither is a chestnut mare-they are the worst. But these two can be so stupid. A squirrel running across her path gave "Polly" a heart attach and her head came up and she smashed the side of my face with her neck. Ouch. But she is very brave and no longer worries about the troll! Small victories. The grey mare is pregnant but she is young and very attractive and I keep thinking she would make a lovely hunter. If she doesn't kill me first.

post yearling sale

Well, the yearling sale is over and we all move on to next year. It is a very discouraging Thoroughbred market right now, no easy way out. I managed to sell my three, 2 colts and a filly. Only one was a little profitable. Gone are the days of 3x the stud fee. I would say most people did not recoup their stud fees, I did not. And breeding in Maryland to Maryland sires is just dead in the water. And now, after saying all this, my partner and friend Carol, sold the sales topper filly for over $180,00- so, you never know which horse is going to save your butt. Her sale gave us all hope and a bright ending to the sale.

Now I'm home and looking at the two weanlings in the back paddock, wondering what the future holds. Some say slots will help , some say it is too late. I know I am reducing the herd and breeding more selectively.

On a happier note, the weather is beautiful and foxhunting is a good for my soul. Being on a horse early in the morning, listening to hounds and watching the young entry learn and thrill to the chase is what makes my day. Heck, it makes my life!

It's getting colder!

It is definitely getting colder. I burrow deeper into that down comforter for a few more minutes in the morning, watching the sun lit up the treetop. The colors are emerging like gold,orange and red butterflies all over the trees. After coffee I step outside and you can't help but breathe deep. The air is colder, crisp and smells faintly of wood smoke from the neighbor's fire. Oh boy! I can bring some firewood in and we can have a evening fire. I love this time of year.

The horses are getting their winter coats. That means clipping and blankets for the hunters, and the yearlings already have been wearing their "pajamas" to keep them sleek for the sale. The sale starts this weekend. I am taking the colts up on Friday. I hope they sell, they look really good. Wish I could keep and race them but no can do.

Time to put on a jacket and go feed. Mares are waiting patiently by the fence.

Sunday afternoon

The Redskins just got beat by the Detroit Lions, ending that team's 19 game losing streak. As sorry as I am for my teams loss I am happy for Detroit. They must be so happy to finally win and end an dubious honor. It reminds me of my trainer's clients who celebrate when any of us win- we are just happy to have one of us in the winner's circle. The other teams football players must be happy for their fellow football gladiators to finally get into the "pigskin" winner's circle after so long.

It rained 3 1/2 inches last night , so hunting was a little slick. Even tho' I was being very careful, the footing over a bridge ( a big pipe in a culvert) gave way right under my chestnut gelding's hooves just as we were crossing the mid-point. He gave a big lurch and kept going. Thank goodness, it could have been very bad. The same gelding, Red, has only whipped twice now. I was wondering what would happen when I had to shoot off of him. Today I found out as the young entry were very bad and chased a doe , taking all with them. The hounds will try to sneak in a deer chase at the beginning of the season just to try- even tho' the older hounds know not to do it. Sometimes they just get carried away. Well , Red and I were in the right spot and gave them a big correction. I must have got off 5 or 6 shots ( rat shot) right in front of them. They stopped cold and quickly went back to huntsman. Good lesson for the pups at the beginning of the season. They will listen better next time.

Hunting Lily

This morning was very warm. I didn't think we would have a very good scenting day, too humid. So we walked around the cornfields not doing much. I was riding Lily, another retired Thoroughbred. Actually she never made it to the races so perhaps she can't be called retired. My trainer just said, after two months of workouts, that she should " seek employment elsewhere". Just too slow. Anyway she is an awesome little horse when she has a job, which is currently being a whip's horse. She just gets foxhunting. Stands alertly, listening. We both spotted a red fox slip out of the corn and head to the river. The hounds had just been speaking on it but could not follow the scent in the humidity. A minute later two ducks lifted off the river , squawking indignantly. That fox must have been egg hunting.

Lily and I moved further on ahead and tally ho-ed another red hunting mice and heading into the corn. Much better. In fact, there were two foxes and we ran them for about 25 minutes around the corn. I viewed one of the pair running out of the corn hot on the heels of a big buck. They do this to foil the scent. At last, the pair slipped into the swamp by the river and we stopped. Hounds and horses were very warm. It was a good morning after all.

Riding Thoroughbreds

I took my 4 year old "retired" Thoroughbred filly for her first trail ride through the woods that would entail crossing the stream. She has gone around the corn and by the pastures where the broodmares are , but this was her inaugural trip through the infamous "big " stream. Now, we have 5 streams on the farm of varying depth. One is pretty big, two run through the pastures so the horses learn not only to drink from a stream ( useful skill-more about that later), but also to walk sanely through a stream, and the last two are smaller tho' they are bigger ditches -so to speak. This filly is brave but a typical Thoroughbred which means she KNEW the troll lived in the big stream! After planting her toes for the umpteenth time I dismounted , undid one side of my rein and proceeded to show her that the water was only inches deep and the troll was not here today. She snorted and rolled her eyes and very reluctantly slid down the bank and sniffed the water. Now, this filly grew up in one of the pastures that has a stream for drinking- she knows water. What a nut! After a little bit she calmly drank, gave me a long look and walked through the stream like she had done it forever. This is why I love Thoroughbreds- they make you work for every little victory, but then it feels like you really accomplished something. I actually was very proud of her, gave her a pat and rode home. Small steps but they add up to a nice horse eventually. About the stream and drinking, can't tell you how many times I have had to drop a bucket in a stream so that the "new" horse can figure out how to drink from the stream. They drink from the bucket in the stream first!!

Sunday morning hunting

Today was a beautiful, beginning of fall cool morning. We met at Mary's Mount for cubbing at 6:30 AM. It was crisp and clear, just cool enough to wear a hacking jacket. We circled the corn, hunting the game(fox) that feeds on the dropped corn. Several runs, several hours later, we called it a day. I was trying my new horse, Red. It was his first day whipping and he was great actually. A little antsy when out of sight of any other horse but didn't spook or get upset otherwise. There was a big blue heron that kept lifting off from the pond and he was cool with that too. I miss Louis, my big guy, but until his coffin bone heals he is sidelined. Red did a very good job considering he is green. The other whip, Greg, was also on a new horse so the whole morning could have been a disaster but it wasn't. Yahoo.

My husband , Mike, was out on his steadfast quarter horse, Bob. I love riding by and seeing him in the second field. When we got together years ago I said," of course, you will go hunting, it's easy". Years later he loves it and has forgiven me my little white lie. (Not really so easy- he holds the record for most falls in one day!)

Yearling Prep

The yearling sales are only a couple of weeks away and I am so ready to stop lungeing and walking yearlings. I have two colts going to Fasig-Tipton , they look good and I am happy to see them graduate. I would love to keep them all but can't do that. We finished x-rays and scopes this morning and fingers crossed everyone is fine. The whole business of x-rays and scoping of these young horses is so crazy and expensive. The Keeneland sales just get more depressing every time I open the Bloodhorse e-mail. The Thoroughbred breeding business is getting harder and harder to make a living at, unless you are a wealthy Sheik or own a California winery.

I love my horses and what I do but am afraid these small horse farms and small Thoroughbred breeders like myself are not going to be able to continue because the costs are so much greater than the profits now. We keep hoping for a Rachel Alexandra but it gets harder to hold onto to the dream.

Trojans

I am watching the USC-Ohio game, still in LA. Sarah is working and I am hanging out, missing my guy :( who is back home in MD watching the same game. I like the USC Trojans, they have the same colors as the Redskins (my team), and my daughter and her boyfriend are USC alum. I hope they win. I met Sarah's boyfriend Kevin last night and thought he was a great guy- good for Sarah. I liked him very much.

I love watching football. Watching great athletes is a pleasure whether they are Thoroughbred horses winning races or NFL running backs jumping over defensive linemen. I watch it hoping to see athletic greatness and sometimes you do. John Elway was awesome to watch when he threw the ball. It took me a long time to figure the game out but now I get it and I love to watch it for those moments when a perfectly executed play works. It is perfect. When a receiver just reaches a little bit more and lifts the ball out of the air before hugging it into him on the way to earth. Perfect.

Hollywood

I am visiting my daughter in Los Angeles for the weekend and it is so different from my life that I could be on Mars. Imagine the scene in Star Wars in Jabba the Hut's bar, remember all the weird aliens. Sarah is playing Marilyn Monroe in a music video that is being shot off of Santa Monica Blvd. in a little bar called Trip! No kidding! They are also channeling all the famous dead (and living) presidents that you can imagine. Lincoln is a cool 7-footer ,at least with the top hat, being chased by John Wilkes Booth. How they end up in this bar in Hollywood where Bill Clinton is holding court with Nixon, Washington, Jefferson, Theodore Roosevelt , oh, and JFK, I have not figured out. My daughter is JFK's date. There is another Sarah here who is Clinton's current paramour. She looks like Amanda Seyfried, much prettier than any of Bill's girls.

The whole scene is somebody's dream, maybe? I haven't heard the music yet, remember this is a music video shoot, but I have met all the band. The guitarist's dad is from Annapolis (my part of the world) via Dartmouth University and Chicago. The other Sarah is from Dartmouth, new to LA, trying to be an actress..

It is definitely a long way from ... a horse farm. But really fun to see my daughter's world and what she does. And a nice break from mucking stalls and feeding horses. I will miss horses in about 48 hrs. but for now I am enjoying the show! And Sarah makes an awesome Marilyn Monroe, she is really good.

First morning Cubbing

We went out at 6:30 this morning for our first hunt of the season. It was dark and a little rainy and wonderful. I forget how much I love this until I am back in the saddle on an early Sept. morn and it just feels so right. The old saying "the outside of a horse is good for the inside of a (wo)man" is the absolute truth. One cannot be down or hassled or tired when you are on horseback and it is a cool dawn , the hounds are casting for scent .... Then one speaks, the others hark and soon the chorus of hounds is ringing in the air. Then they are racing through the corn or the woods, your horse stands at attention, muscles quivering, just waiting for the slightest urging and you're off, galloping around the edge of the corn. It is awesome, ancient and it gets your blood going and the world is just right. I feel so at home in the saddle, like the horse and I are perfect together and it is where I belong , right then, at that time and place.

This is when we teach the young hounds what hunting is about. Sometimes it is comical, sometimes it is noble , or scary- but it always feels right. My radio was dead (forgot to charge it), so when I viewed the fox as we were starting home it was a chance to try my own rebel yell! Didn't know I could scream so loud. The huntsman blew for hounds right away, but the scent was rising and that fox quickly snuck away and eluded us all. Nice view tho'.

Rachel Alexandra

What a horse. A filly like this only comes around once in our lives. Do you remember Ruffian? She was also so exceptional, but even she did not take on the older BOYS and beat 'em all! So awesome. I hope Jess Jackson takes good care of her. He says the right words, so hopefully she will have a long and prosperous life. She is so fast -I can't get over it! Rightfully , we should all be awestruck by such impressive talent.

My two-year old filly, Strike A Blow Lass, had a very good work at Laurel on Friday. Not in Rachel's league but, she made me happy and one can always dream. It is what keeps all the small owner/breeders in the game. "Maybe this is the ONE."

Roading Hounds

The beginning of September means the new season of foxhunting or cubbing starts. And for a whip (whipper-in) that means starting to road hounds. Why teaching the new entry or puppies about horses is called "roading", I don't know, but that is what it means. So, we are on horseback , teaching the new hounds to stay with the huntsman and to not run underfoot or not run away basically.

My good hunt horse is in the stall for another month with a broken coffin bone, so I was trying to road hounds tonight on my newer chestnut ex-racehorse. He tries very hard ,but sometimes the whole thing is just too baffling for him and he jumps straight in the air in frustration. Which is OK as long as I am ready. If I am looking elsewhere , at a wayward hound or in the direction the huntsman is heading , he can catch me quite unawares and he result can be unnerving. Sometimes unseating! But tonight we were OK until the very end when, after untacking, his lead rope got tangled in the trailer door. He pulled back, broke the halter and was gone. Now, I am looking at the highway which is very close and then at him as he gallops by, delighted to be loose. His tail is up over his back and head high he gleefully prances past me - " U can't touch this!" written all over him. Disgustedly I chase him for 20 minutes until he allows himself to be caught. He thinks he is so superior some times, I just want to smack him.

My wonderful husband had dinner waiting and a martini. I am so lucky and I needed it tonight.

Field surgery

The Chapel Royal filly finally had her hernia repair surgery. This morning was cool and sunny- perfect. My vet, Dr. Stott, said we could do this on the farm and he pulled it off very neatly. The filly was probably " down and out of it" for only about 20 minutes. He repaired the stomach wall and put in about 6 dissolvable stitches to close everything and she was back on her feet in no time at all. She is the barn for a week or so. I just went to check on her and she is a little wide -eyed, but otherwise fine. My big foxhunter, Louis, the one with the broken coffin bone, is keeping her company in the barn. She is a little wide -eyed looking at him too because Louis is enormous and he is trying to be a good babysitter but it's a little like asking Hulk Hogan to hold your baby!

The fall is coming. Tonight and last night are both down in the 50's. I even put sheets on the two yearlings that are going to the sale. One, the Dance for Ravens, did not like his "pajamas" and, Houdini-like, has managed to get it off both nights. Tonight , I had barely turned around and it was off and he was grazing a few feet away like nothing happened.

Facebook

I am a neophyte on this phenomena Facebook. I attempt to follow the info on it, sometimes I get it, often I am sort of lost. However, today I followed a note about a Mustang roundup out West by the Bureau of Land Management that sounded truly awful. I thought they had stopped that sort of barbaric cleansing eons ago- that it had gone the way of the John Wayne/ James Dean movie. Remember in Giant, the horrific mustang chase scene and Marilyn Monroe crying. Anyway I hope the support keeps coming for the people who are trying to stop this. They also mentioned a wolf hunt, which I also hope they stop. I will offer to spread the word so the BLM can be inundated with e-mails decrying these practices.

In this sense Facebook can be a wonder. We will make this a smaller world in which we connect in ways that never would have been possible before. I am trying to use this tool!. My daughter is helping, she lets me Facebook befriend her, my younger son said No! He does not want me to see His page. My older son has deleted his page, says it is a waste. So I am trying to figure out a happy medium. We shall see what happens.

Thunderstorms

I was going to write about going to the track this morning to watch my two-year old work. I love going to the track and it was a lovely morning, the rain holding off. The filly worked an easy 37.00 three furloughs. So said, what was much more exciting was the thunderstorm I was just caught in , while feeding this afternoon.

I was trying to get up to Annapolis early, as I have a bridal shower on Sunday to shop for. So, I hurried up working the yearlings, cutting corners and baths and I rushed to get everyone fed early. The whole time I am watching the sky as it gets darker and darker. I load up the Gator and I'm standing in the shedrow debating the wisdom of going down to the back fields to the mares. The thunder is ominous but still a little way off. You see if I get everybody fed now, I can meet Mike, my husband for dinner and an evening out!! Joy.

So, I am motivated to chance the storm. Well, Bean, my Yorkshire terrier is also worried about the storm. He and Bella, our Schnoodle (Schnauzer/Poodle-awesome combination) hate thunderstorms . But he,Bean, is not about to face one alone in the barn so he hops on the Gator and we go. I get about 30 feet and there is the loudest crack and a huge lightning bolt by the front gate. I stop under a tree and go ,"oh sh__". The rain is starting but it is not so bad, so I think I can make it. Stupid me! Anyway I keep going ,throw the feed into the geldings buckets, who are smart enough to not leave their run-in shed. Hugging the fence and trees I continue down the hill to the weanlings . I have a little more sense and feed them in the run-in shed even tho' they're spooked and bumping into everything. Now, it is pouring buckets, we are both soaked and I wonder at the wisdom of this. I cross the bridge , which was just put back into place from the last storm, and head for the mares. Now the lightning is much closer and it is raining so hard I feel like I am swimming with clothes on. Bean is so scared he is whimpering and I am getting scared. I wait by the fence, standing under some big trees, trying to remember what Bear Grylls, the survivor guy said about lightning storms. Do you get under trees or not? Can't remember. I think I remember you are supposed to lie down. Well that would mean lying down in a raging stream as the water is racing down the hill to where we are, I don't want to get hit by lightning but I don't want to drown either. There is so much wind and rain and lightning that I am really worried. I am afraid to run back because I have to cross the stream and I think lightning likes water. I am under the trees, watching the wind just push the treetops around violently, hanging onto to my Yorkie, praying the storm keeps going away.

Thankfully, the thunder starts to sound further away from the lightning strikes and the rain lessens a little. I gulp, throw the feed into the mares buckets, dumping two inches of rain out first. Then I turn the gator around and dash for the barn. Bella greets us, dancing excitedly like it was all great fun. I am just thankful I didn't get hit by lightning and I realize what a stupid thing I had done.

Now I am on my way to Sam's, to buy food for Sunday and I guess I'll write about the track later.

Girlfriends

It is that wonderful time of morning when the color is just entering the world. The trees are turning from black to the richest greens, even Maryland is lush this time of morning. I feel I can sit quietly and simply breathe in the sounds; the cricket hum, the rough caw of a raven, the softest tweets of some unidentified bird, the huffings of the horses ( I might have made up that word). It is a wondrous world for this moment .

Last night I told my book club girlfriends ( we are women friends of various ages-but girlfriends has the meaning I want) that I was writing a blog. Originally to let my daughter in California know what was going on at the farm, now this blog has become a lovely way for me to pause in my day and (usually) be thankful for my life. Which brings me to girlfriends. I am very grateful for my girlfriends. They asked if I would write about them and I said," Oh no, I wouldn't mention any one, that is someone else's life." But, this morning I realized that they are a special part of my life and what a nice way to let them all know that they are important to me. Even when we disagree, even when we argue over what books to read or what is the best way to do anything, even when we air our little hurts or disparage one another slightly it is done with love and respect. My girlfriends bring a wider world to me. Their viewpoints are different than mine, Thank God, or I would never open my eyes to new things. They keep me in check and remind me that sometimes I'm wrong! It is always easier to hear that from them than my husband (fancy that). They let me know that after my car accident they were worried about me, we worry together for friends that are having tough times, we wonder together how we can help. This started as a "horsey" book club because we all ride horses. Some of us foxhunt together, some of us race horses, or do dressage. Horses are in all our lives, so when one of our friends breaks a leg or has a fall we all offer to feed or muck , way before we offer to ook. And we all think that is a good thing! So, I'm thankful for my girlfriends , they enrich me.

Tuesday evening 8/25

Walked hounds this morning-still trying to remember the "P" young entry. There is a Potomac, and a Patuxent. The way to tell them apart is that one has two black spots on their back with a narrow white strip separating them. This represents the Potomac River separating Virginia and Maryland. The other one is Patuxent (Tux)- no definitive white strip . This is great, but I need to do this with 12 new entry. It becomes confusing as they are all white with black spots or white with brown spots or blue ticks etc. Somrtimes, as a whip, I only know the troublemakers for sure.

The yearlings are looking good. The sales have been dismal so the only way to stand out is to look like a million bucks. I keep trying but some days are difficult. Thought I had found a good home for Mig (our timber horse)but it didn't work out. On the other hand , there are some positives today.

The other insurance company ( car accident) did accept responsibility, so I can order a new Mini. My 4-yr old is progressing well and I got the entry today for the Foxhunter Field Championships which I look forward to every year. A week of hunting in Virginia- big fences, lots of running and jumping and great Virginians. I have a great time every year.

Monday night 8/24

Time flies. I try to get to this and suddenly it is 9PM. I wanted to write about the two little Dachsunds I watched chasing a deer across my back pastures. Now, I live pretty far back from any homes and Friday I am feeding, watching the weanlings watching something . I look up and swear it is two groundhogs chasing a deer!! No way, I say- then unbelievably realize it is two little Dachsunds bouncing up and down across the field and into the woods. Gone , like they had never been there-but they were. Strange.

It was too humid to do the hernia surgery (anaesthesia affects a foal's body-cooling mechanisms) so she has a break until Thursday. Saturday it rained 5 inches in a couple hours. My bridge to the back fields lifted and moved for the first time ever. The next morning I drove the Gator to feed, came to the bridge and thought it was really muddy but went across and fell 18 inches on the other side. Now I'll need a 'dozer to push it back into place. Oh well , the horses all seemed fine and the farm IS very green this year.

I saw wild turkeys this morning as well as a big horned owl and several hawks. These birds are so beautiful and I am so lucky to see them so close.

Wednesday night- Aug 20th

I am sad that my daughter has gone back to Los Angeles, but we had a terrific visit. Now it is back to horses. It has been so hot and humid here, a little break in the heat wold be nice. Tomorrow morning the vet is coming early to do a hernia repair on one of the weanling fillies. I hope it is a little cooler. She will need to stay in the stall for couple of weeks , so I bedded it today with clean straw. Always smells so good. Last week I brought my old guy, Lestat, in for the blacksmith and I put him in this stall ( the hernia repair had been scheduled for last week). He looked around, gave a sigh and just lay down. All day! He was so glad to come in from the flies and be knee deep in fresh straw that he just stretched out and reveled in it. You know, I do the same thing at night when I get into bed. Fresh sheets and just stretching out feels so good at the end of a long day. I understand completely. I let the old man stay in all day.

August 18th evening

I tried to write something all day and things just kept happening that seemed more pressing at the time. Now, at 10pm I think what happened to the whole day. I was going to write about hound walking (an essential part of foxhunting, especially if you are a whipper-in like me-more about that later). The puppies are cute and I am still trying to learn the names of last years entry.

But I had to work the yearlings in the round pen , so the blog waited. Then, the insurance company calls started about the car accident last Friday. Oh my god- don't ever have an accident-it will make you want to strangle people. That's how I feel.

Then it was feed time suddenly, but I needed to get to the train station to pick up my daughter. So it was a mad dash on the gator ( a 4 wheeler marvel for horse people-couldn't live without it) throwing feed into buckets and slinging hay at hurt horses in stalls. They must think I am a crazy lady a times! Mad drive to Amtrak, then Annapolis, then meet husband, who needs some care sometimes. He must think I'm a crazy lady, too, at times.

Then at 8pm I'm mucking stalls so I can go to NYC tomorrow with my daughter who is suppose to meet a director ( she is visiting from LA and is an aspiring actress). There is a wicked thunderstorm which has the yearlings convinced tht they are NOT supposed to leave the safety of the barn even tho' I am begging at this point. All this brings me to now and a not-so-serene blog at 10pm. I am still putting the picture of the cute puppies up tho'.