I was pretty bummed yesterday when the orthopedic surgeon told me the cat -bite infection was actually in the bone of my thumb and that this kind of bone infection is very hard to get rid of. He basically told me it was permanent damage and could re-occur, even if the long term antibiotics do "kill" most of it. Damn. I was depressed.
But, today is a new day and I feel better. The thumb is very weak and hurts but it is there and it does function, albeit stiffly. He said I do have to do at least 6 weeks of the IV antibiotics and some physical therapy to try to get the motion back. I figure as soon as I can ride ( as soon as IV line in my arm vein- to my heart-comes out), the motion from riding and holding reins will start to bring strength back- at least I hope so. Don't know about cracking my hunt whip, that might take longer! I do miss riding the most. Surprised at how much I depend on the physicality of it to maintain my own happiness. I try to walk the puppy and visit the horses, but I miss grooming them and rubbing on them. However I did feed this morning by myself and that felt great. I get help with feeding hay in the afternoons but being able to do my chores by myself felt terrific, like my life was getting back to normal. I love my quiet time, feeding in the mornings, just talking to my animals. I keep wondering why this happened , what am I supposed to be learning from this period of inactivity? Don't really have any answers, other than to re-evaluate what I am doing with my life. This is definitely something I have been doing since all the kids are pretty much gone now. The horses have not been very lucrative,in fact, I do have to chart a new course for the next 50 years of my life.
Today, however, I am going to start getting Xmas decorations out and finish shopping and start to spread some Christmas joy. This afternoon we are going to memorial service for our friend who passed away from the horse fall. We will celebrate his life and memory and give our comfort to his wife. I hope our hugs and love do help her somehow.
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