Reflections

This has been a sad December for some people in my life and because we are all connected it has been an unusually reflective end to the first decade of the 21st century. Several unexpected deaths and illnesses have rocked our small community and we look at each other with care and concern, wishing we could offer more comfort, not really knowing what to say, just hoping being there is enough. My own incident with the cat bite and ensuing bone infection have stopped me cold in my usual, carefree daily life. Little things like grooming my horses, not to even mention riding are beyond my ability for the first time in a very long time. When you are healthy you rarely think about how lucky you are on a daily basis, but when you are hurt, impaired, or sick for any length of time, it is amazing how grateful you become to be able to do the smallest things. Yesterday was a month after the cat bit me and it was the first time I was able to give myself the IV injection that I am still having to take. It was liberating! to be able to do it myself! The home health nurse extended the IV line in my arm and my other (hurt) thumb is now able to push and twist the IV sryinges, so I can do it with my right hand and inject the medicine in my left arm. I am now ready to go and gallop horses!

Not really , as much as I want to ride, I am afraid of the IV line ripping out of my vein :( , so I will wait until they say I can. This is unusual for me as I think I can do anything. Taking my health and strength for granted I have worked this body as hard as I wanted forever. This morning as my husband left, I said ,"I just want to feel normal again." This brings me back to my reflections on gratitude for my health and gratitude for the life of my friends. I guess this incidents and the recent deaths of friends are making me feel fragile and that is unusual also.

I am so sorry for the grief in my friends lives. One has lost a husband, one has lost a child , another is in the middle of a long goodbye. It has been heartbreaking and sorrowful. It has been hard to find a sunny day in many respects and I cry for them. One can talk about the greater purposes and that we don't understand the Big plan, but I find more comfort in a hug and telling my friends that I care and am hurting with them and wish it wasn't the way it is. We are all connected and when one of us hurts , so do all of us share the sorrow.

Christmas is usually a time of joy and happiness, but this year , for me , it is a time for comfort. I offer comfort and love and friendship to my friends that are hurting and I am grateful for the comforts I have . I am thankful for the people in my life who enrich me beyond measure, my husband, my kids and all my friends. Thank you and Merry Christmas.